CHANGING YOUR SPOUSE

D. Charles Williams, Ph.D.

Licensed Psychologist

How many of us have had the frustrating experience of trying to change our spouse? Probably all married individuals have at some time or another assumed the challenge of trying to force their partner to be what we think they should be. When couples come to our office for help, it is the first roadblock encountered on the road to a successful outcome. Trying to change our spouse often locks couples into a “tug of war”, intensifies their resentment toward each other and, most importantly, rarely works. So what can you do if you aren’t happy with your spouse?

·        Identify one negative behavior within yourself & commit to improving it everyday.

·        Treat your partner the way you want to be treated regardless of their response.

·        Focus on what they do right and catch them doing it often.

·        Admire the differences between you because they keep you interested in each other.

·        Choose to be happy and together rather than alone and right.

·        Refusing to change, guarantees change for the worst.

·        Throwing dirt only causes you to lose ground.

·        There is no future in the past. Forgive, learn from mistakes and move on.

Remember: Its never wrong to do the right thing. Be the first to seek terms of peace and a path toward mutual accommodation. Become the change agent in your marriage.